Scurvy McCrack
Please note: The following page is a joke. If you are searching for genuine information on Bones Jones, click here Scurvy Tiberius McCrack III is the feared former ruler of Monsterhouse. He ruled for 466 years before he was overthrown by The Goblin King. As punishment for killing The Goblin King's wife, he was forced to take human form and is now known as Bones "I disrespect woman" Jones. While trapped in Monsterhouse, now called "Town", he met a girl named Elizabeth. Although she fell for him at first, he turned out to be abusive. When Scurvy attempted to consume her soul, she slapped him and ran to her home. Heartbroken, he came to The Goblin King's home and pleaded for forgiveness. However, he found out that The Goblin King had retreated to his winter palace. He decided to enter his home and search for relics that could help him return to power, but he discovered that The Goblin Queen's soul had become the house's poltergeist. She swallowed him whole and tortured him until The Goblin Queen was destroyed by Dean the Machine. In the process, Scurvy regains his power from hidden artifacts inside his palace, though he is knocked out by the ensuing chaos. Once he wakes up, Scurvy emerges from the remains of his palace and declares that he will destroy The Goblin King. Personality During his rule of Monsterhouse, he was very cruel. Anyone who spoke out against his dictatorial regime was immediately abducted and executed. After he lost his power and was forced to becomes Bones Jones, he becomes very sad and depressed, finding solace in alcohol. Yvette's Revenge Upon being kicked out of Dean the Machine's house by Elizabeth, Scurvy drunkenly walked across the street to The Goblin King's castle. Standing on the edge of the grass, he threw his empty bottle across the lawn to no response, leading him to believe that The Goblin King had indeed passed away like Mr. Boiko Bobinski had suggested. Delighted by the idea, he began to taunt The Goblin King as he defecated on the lawn. Scurvy was interrupted however, when the door of the house swung open and he saw his old titanium axe lying in the doorway. Entranced by it, he walked all the way up his axe and grabbed it, only to have the house suck him up and slam the door behind him. He was tortured until the end of the film. While Dean the Machine was exploring the house, he briefly saw Scurvy pleading for help inside one of the many rooms of the house. However, Dean refused to help, or, disturbingly, even acknowledge him. Alternate Names * Bones Jones * Beer McCrackhead * The Schally Wag who Disrespects Woman * Bones McShutUp * Crackhead * Beer McCocaine * Bones * Skulln't * Sk8er Boi Trivia * Scurvy is the only villain who didn't reform. * He is portrayed by Jason Lee. * He is the first character to be taken by the house (on-screen). * He is the ex-boyfriend of Zee, later replaced by Skull. * He is a member of a band. * Adolf Hitler was directly descended from him. Category:Characters Category:Villains Category:Antagonists Category:Deceased